Japan is a bear for Internet access. $20.00 a day for access in our room. $5.25 for 15 minutes of access in the business center. And STARBUCKS doesn't have free wifi! What kind of place is this?!?

Let me back up a bit.

We woke up around 8:00am or so and sat trying to decide what to do with ourselves. We finally decided that we should roll out to 7-11 and grab a quick bite. Then go to Starbucks and use the free Internet service like they have in the states. Well we got a few items to snack on and umbrellas that looked a bit like folded up bats and after getting yelled at for sitting and eating in front of a building we decided to go to Starbucks. After a few Grande Cappucinos and about fifteen frustrated minutes of not connecting to anything via either laptop, we were disgusted and left.

B had seen a drug store on our way to 7-11 and after Starbucks we headed straight for it for both Excedrin and to see if they had an ace bandage. They had something better. They had a compression foot brace. That set us back 17 beans and we decided to head back to the hotel so we could discard our computers, put on the brace, and figure out how to get to Akihabara.

Welp the foot brace fit nicely and with that we were off to Akihabara. We hit the subway and found out our line, the M line, was the furthest from us - around 910 meters give or take an inch. So off we went trucking through the underground, down stairs up stairs through other lines until we hit it. We got our tickets for the now regular price of ¥160 and off we went. One stop then change to the infamous H line then nine stops and we were there.

I forgot how nuts Akihabara is. Rows upon rows of parts in bins outside, miscellaneous components, survaillence cameras, covert spy cameras, cell phone stores (which oddly enough had Cameron Diaz as a spokesmodel), electronic dictionaries by the dozen, and anything else electronic you could want. We went from stall to stall thinking it would be great to have this kind of area in the states and then finally deciding we would look for a cheap wireless mic for our podcast show on www.recklessphilosophers.com.

One of the places we found while cruising the store was a shop that had on the 3rd floor a huge robotics section. Holy shit was that neat. They had every robo-one style robot I had ever seen online there in the flesh. These things are mad expensive too. Ranging from ¥30,000 for a Kondo kit with no servos to a full robot worth ¥300,000 or higher. They even had the bio-loid kit for about a grand and even the pleo robot dinosaur. That was cool as hell. It was cute as hell and had touch sensors on its back, chin, top of its head, and a bunch of other things too. It was adorable when you reached down to pet its head or scratch under its chin it cooed in delight. It was a convincing simulation of life and to see it shaking its food (a rubber leaf) around was actually adorable. I am sure its gonna be a purchase for B some point soon. A cool pet that never needs feeding just batteries, how could you go wrong?

We searched and scoured and found nothing other than pro (read as balls ass expensive) gear. So with that, we decided that we could eat and rolled into KFC. After KFC we hit a bunch of other stores and we had become kind of overloaded. Shopping in Akihabara is daunting. At first you feel like a kid in a candy store, then slowly it overwhelms you. The brain is trying to decipher what its seeing, decipher prices, and catalog what kind of store your actually in - in real time. It's not so bad at first but after a few hours you really need to sit somewhere quiet for a while.

Wel, l I had wanted to go to Yodobashi Akiba and nose around for a few souvenirs but first rest and a cigarette. Every place we went to was jam-packed. Finally we decided to go into the restaurants in Yodobashi itself. They are on the 8th floor and we had to go through seven floors of insanity before we got there. Our nerves were completely shot by then and since no one had a smoking section we just picked a place that had the most appetizing plastic food and went it. If the music was quieter and if they had a smoking section I would have been happy.  It wasn't and they didn't. Dejected we ordered a meal and some drinks to have a chill out and after a bit we felt better.

Since we felt better we decided to go and look around and that was a mistake. Yowza, it was worse than ever and after browsing exactly one floor we decided it was time to go. Finally I spotted a group of people smoking and I went right for the area like a rabid dog after a rabbit and lit right up. This was around 6:00pm or so and after a much needed butt, we descended into the subway and we were off again. One train change and a bunch of stops later we got to our home station and climbed up into the night.

It was raingin all day and we were punch drunk and tired. We had planned to go to Roppongi tonight and hit up the original Gaspanic and see “Tokyo at its worst” and then be the guys that go there to hook up with hot Japanese chicks. Gaspanic is a total meat market with an interesting niche carved out for itself. It's THE place for western guys to go to meet Japanese chicks and THE place for Japanese chicks to go to meet western guys. How can we go wrong?

That may or may not happen because as I write this its going on 8:00 PM and I just heard B snoring. So if I go it may be alone. But I still need to detox a bit.

Ok, so I decided to go to Gaspanic on my own last night. I decided to let B rest and got changed and went out around 10:00pm, realized I left my smokes and decided it was best just to get another pack and lighter. I love these vending machines. Next, instead of taking the subway I decided to save myself the trouble and take a taxi since I would most likely be coming back after the trains stopped running. It was a ¥710 flat fee. I liked that.

I got into Roppongi and it took no time at all for the guys there to start pestering me to see titties and have free drinks. If you read our last travelogue then you know what that's all about. I decided that rather than see another snack shop I was going to actually go to the world-famous Gaspanic bar and try and score a hot little Japanese chick.

Once I got into the bar, I ordered a beer and chilled out while letting the bass sooth my nerves a bit and did some people watching. It was a sausage fest for the first hour or two, but it started picking up around 11:30pm and things really started jumping.

I met this woman who was out for ladies night with one of her friends and they actually lived in Tokyo. Her husband was in the army and, oddly enough, they were from New Jersey as well and her parents had a house in the town next to mine.

This Japanese guy was off-the-hook and he was dancing with a champagne bottle and when he killed it he put it on the bar then jumped up on the bar bench, sat on the , and ordered another bottle. This time he got like 5 glasses and poured all the champagne into them. I didn't think anything of this until he hands me, the girl and her friend and then his buddy one of the glasses. Kanpai! He just wanted to spread the wealth a bit and ended up doing that a couple more times. High roller that one, each bottle was like ¥4,000. I wasn't about to turn down his generosity even if it wasn't very good champagne.

I met this cute Scottish chick named Heather and we discussed, or tried to discuss, our tattoos. Talking became more and more difficult as either a result of alcohol or music or both, so we moved away from the bar and into the back room area. We talked some more and were into each other.

We ended up making out a bit and I got a decent hand job under the table but she got annoyed that I didn''t get off- anyone that knows me knows that it takes a bit more than that to do the job. I was surprised but I'm pretty sure that that had offended her and she left to go bounce on the dance floor a bit. At around 3:00am, I decided it was time to go.

Wel,l I stumbled down the stairs and tried to hail a cab when this adorable tiny Japanese girl latches onto my arm and tries to get me to go to her massage place. She had a good grip and it was everything I could do to walk away. I finally find a cab and get a ride back to the Hotel. It was about the time that I tried to pay the driver when I realized that I was missing a large bill. A very large bill. ¥10,000 - about 100 bucks US. So I was pissed.

All-in-all, the Gaspanic trip turned out different than I expected. I figured I would go and pick up a Japanese honey and get loaded. Instead I picked up a Scottish gir,l got loaded, made out, and somewhere lost a hundred bucks. -Sigh- At least I got a hand job out of it.